How do you stop a black guy from raping a white chick?
Throw them a basketball.
What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew?
Pizzas don't scream in the oven.
What's the difference between a canoe and a Jew?
Canoes eventually tip.

Husband and wife go to an art museum, they see a painting of three naked black men, mute the one in the middle has a white dick.
The museum owner explains the meaning of the painting to the couple saying that it was about struggle between black and white people in the past.
Then the painter of the painting offers to tell them the real meaning of the painting. He tells them that the picture is of three Welsh miners, and the one in the middle went home for lunch!

QUOTE(gingerneo88)Husband and wife go to an art museum, they see a painting of three naked black men, mute the one in the middle has a white dick.
The museum owner explains the meaning of the painting to the couple saying that it was about struggle between black and white people in the past.
Then the painter of the painting offers to tell them the real meaning of the painting.  He tells them that the picture is of three Welsh miners, and the one in the middle went home for lunch!
I don't get it....

And I just want you guys to know for future refrense...I'm black and I'm Jewish...and thouse jokes offended me.








No. I'm just kidding...but they were kinda bad.

whats red, bloody and crawls up your leg?
a home sick abortion.
whats the hardest part of the vegitable to digest?
the wheelchair.
epileptics and strobe lights are natural vibrators.
abortion: bringing out your inner child.

O
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and yea, im done.

what do you call a hairy jew
jewbacca
i actually made that one up

QUOTE(BEEF)Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.  
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.  
When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.  
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself right after you saved him with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."  
Edna replied "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
HAHA! Brilliant!

QUOTE(BEEF)Three men who were lost in a jungle on a desert island were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a simple trial.  
The first step of the trial was to go to into the jungle and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit.
So all three men went their separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your arse without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?"  
The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

Intersting jokes there sworn :shock:  :o
noooo I was gonna post that one! Its such a great joke.

QUOTE(BEEF)Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.  
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.  
When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.  
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself right after you saved him with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."  
Edna replied "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
This one is fuckin funny :twisted:

QUOTE(ChelseyMiranda)whats red, bloody and crawls up your leg?
a home sick abortion.
whats the hardest part of the vegitable to digest?
the wheelchair.
epileptics and strobe lights are natural vibrators.
abortion: bringing out your inner child.

O
|_O
|_|
and yea, im done.
you scare me...

whats the difference between a blonde and a misquito...? when you slap a misquito it stops sucking.
whats similar about a blonde and a screen door? the more you bang them the loser they get.
so three blondes are stuck on an island and cannot find there way off. so there wondering along the beach and one trips on something and falls in the sand and out pops a genie from the bottle she tripped on. the genie says "ok ok since all three of you found me ill grant you each one wish"
so the first blonde walks up and says "i wish i were smart enough to find my way off this island" so the genie blinks and poof she turns into a redhead and swims off the island. so the second blonde is thinking really hard and finally she walks up and says "i wish i were smarter then her and could find my way off this island" so the genie claps his hands and poof she turns into a brunette builds a boat and paddles off the island. so the third thinks really hard and walks up to the genie and says " i wish i were smarter then both of them PUT TOGETHER and could find my way off this island." so the genie starts clapping his hands and blinking his eyes and POOF she turns into a man and walks across the bridge.